Here comes the overly commercialised, pressure-laden holiday we all love to hate. There are many reasons to dread the annual bright-pink festival of sap - so let’s commiserate!
If you are a woman…
Reason #1: You can’t moan about it.
If you are single, people assume you are a spinster with two cats.
If you are in a relationship, people assume you’ve hit a rough patch.
Reason #2: Cringeworthy poetry
Reason #3: You feel undue pressure to lose weight, especially if there’s a chance he’ll buy you lingerie.
Reason #4: All displays of perfect coupledom serve only to reinforce the sneaking suspicion that everyone else is far more in love and having twice as much fun as you.
If you are a man…
Reason #5: You feel undue pressure to be the perfect prince charming, which includes having to recite the aforementioned cringeworthy poetry
Reason #6: Fear that women have a singular focus this time of year, and that she is already making plans for your future life together in complete wedded bliss.
Reason #7: You have to shell out tons of money to buy cliche tokens of affection that never quite hit the mark.
Reason #8: Forget to do anything about it and you’re history!